Exit Stage UP

Little Amanda, Australian, was looking up at the a very strange event. She began waving and sadly saying. “Goodbye Aliens.” Shortly afterwards a parent removed her from the yard and they both hid in a closet until discovered hours later.

The rest of the world was not so calm. Panic naturally ensued the entire earth as billions of inhabitants raced around screaming anything that was not interpreted as, “Goodbye Aliens.” Initially it was thought that the Aliens were invading earth and not leaving it. Not only was it believed that Aliens did not exist. It was also believed that if they existed they would be visiting earth. Not leaving it. The entire earth military was confused and was not sure if they should shoot down the “retreating” mass of Alien space vehicles.

People that saw Aliens exiting from underground caves prudently entered the now vacant habitats. The cave investigators took whatever they could find. Unfortunately the caves had doors that closed and had camouflaged entrances/exits. Eventually hysterical screams from these underground homes led rescuers to find them. The local governments then methodically confiscated everything that was left by the Aliens. The looters of Alien stuff were, and in some places, still are detained in hidden bunkers located under Disneyland in California. All were given free one day passes to Disneyland if they promised to not tell what was found in the Alien Caves. Most complied but after their free day pass in Disneyland they blabbed outrageously. In retaliation the snitches were fired from their jobs and now work at Arby’s and Taco Bell.

No one really knows why the Aliens left. For years after the exit. Many earthlings made up fictional information that is incomprehensible. These Alien departure ideas are totally bullshit. The best one was their lease on earth ran out and would not be reapproved by the Universal Federation of Overseers. Or UFO, A sort of United Planet of Landlords Association. The reason was that Earth was just too unstable for even Jesus to return.

Amanda, Australian, was recognized as the first to correctly assess the Alien departure. She was on multiple talk shows, hired for multiple advertisements, and other nonsense multiple stuff. Thus making her the universal celebrated Alien departure child. Finally one day Amanda, Australian, said she had enough and was tired of saying, “Goodbye Aliens.” It was the 10th Goodbye Alien Movie remake that broke her. It also broke the rest of all the residents on Earth and rarely is the Alien Exodus spoken of today.

That was until one Alien asshole suggested there be a Alien Exit of Earth Reunion.

Boy am I Thirsty!

From the beginning of human life the human species begins to thirst. What do humans thirst? Firstly is food and drink. Babies will cry when hungry or thirsty then are fed. This sets the pattern of gratification. As life begins to expand. The thirst cries for comfort and being held and loved. Humans like to be noticed. As children grow the term. “Look at me” becomes their mantra.

The thirst for basic physical needs being met. Feelings begin to evolve and the thirst grows into other needs. Love explores the sex thirst. Some become thirsty for procreation and pleasure. Mostly pleasure. This leads to porno and sometimes excessive thirst that plunges into sex crimes.

Once bodily functions become more controlled. The thirst for bathrooms with showers or tubs emerge. The thirst for clean bodies. Bodies that become adorned with clothes, makeup, ordor control, mouth and body are drunk. This will expand the peacock feathers that explode the “look at me now” thirst.

Then the cup that fuels that thirst becomes a deep drink that becomes harder to satisfy. The thirst for “stuff” opens up the fountain of money. Monetary thirst leads to the satisfaction of filling ones closet with excessive clothing, food and “stuff” money can buy. If not satisfied the thirst leads to robbery, money scams and other crimes in the money thirst. Companies are created and control of the financial wells to satisfy mankind or womankind thirsting . Greed becomes rivers that overflow and threaten to drown those who have drunk too much.

Next is when the wells are full. Earthly beings begin to thirst for power. Barbarism and civilization mixes up one fine cocktail that thirsts for power and control. Civilization, a sort of controlled barbarism, has drunk colonization, land grabbing, massive reapings of mass destruction of “inferior uncivilized” peoples, tribes, and ethnic groups. This need turns the faucet to drink from deep filled urns quenching a dribbling thirst.

Power thirsts for war. War thirsts for destruction. Destruction thirsts for elimination. Elimination thirsts for death.

Sometimes earthly human kind thirsts for peace. Usually after the thirst for war has been satisfied. Which is unfortunate but calms the drinking of sour beverages.

Therefore life thirst for many things. Nature creates many species that thirst also. Animals, plants, insects and aquatic life. All thirst to exist and survive.

In the end. When there is nothing left. Religious thirst may be satisfied. After there is nothing left on earth and life ceases to exist. Mankind will look back and say to God or the Creator. “Boy was I thirsty!”

I Put my foot on the wrong shoe!

There is no future in the future.

I was born in 1952. My expectations for 2021 and beyond were cars that flew, peace on earth, Buck Rogers retiring, medical breakthru’s and a host of really great stuff. What I have now in 2021. Wear a mask because of a pandemic. When there was a flu season we, as children, went to school, now children do not. Cars that still run on gas. The price per gallon went from way less than $1 to almost $3 and more in some places. Wars in the middle East still blazing on. Racial problems that still exist and are getting worse. Buck Rogers died. A Government that is only interested in what party is in control and stuff it to the people. There are more than 3 TV Stations now. Ironically there is less to watch. Violence has increased but still not Attilla the Hun type of raiding villages or cities type violence. Sex has no imagination left. There are more than 2 sexes. The only real medical breakthru’s are more expensive drugs people cannot afford. Oh yeah! One final thing pets have chips placed in them in case they get lost. The problem is they still cannot dial a phone with their paws.

Anybody else out there futureless?

Melting Alien Fictional Report

Well it seems there is a large number of UFO sightings around the Great Lakes, Sahara Desert and parts of Nevada. It has been reported by a local abudction abductee. (Spell check not working if any mispellings.) The Aliens in the UFO were taking pictures of all the above mentioned sites. Seems they wanted these pictures because in the future they will be radically changed.

Due to the Global warming thing. A guy named Q. Cue, told the Aliens the permafrost that is melting in Alaska, and the other frozen places, are causing changes on Earth. Rivers will be rivering in different directions. Lakes will dry up and deserts will become oceans. Oceans will become oceans but in different places. More or less covering Italy, parts of Siberia, California, Florida and Cuba will be like Atlantis. Except we will know where it is. Now if this is not bad enough there is methane gas leakage. Not like the gases of Uncle Bennie or Jimmy but really bad killer gas stuff.

Methane, also not the stuffed cooked in a trailor park, has been building up in frozen caves filled with frozen dinosaurs and other frozen things that freeze. Methane builds up in these bones refridgerated for hundreds even thousands of days and years. The permafrost melts. The covered caves open up because the ice evaporates. The trapped gas in the caves and dead animals are released and voila. If you are sitting in your car with the windows up when this happen. You die.

Don’t panic. This will not happen for a few years about 10 or 3. Probably on a Thursday. We had plenty of time. Er have plenty of time or no. Nice knowing you all see you on Friday, maybe.

A Delicate Misunderstanding

What happened to any person being chocked by police during an arrest is dispicable. Most human beings with any sense would agree to this. What some people miss is that most people misunderstand that in the future our children will question this. The misunderstanding is that the children will also learn the backround of these victims. Most of our hero’s that are remembered have stellar lives. Martin Luther King, Abe Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, and a host of others that actually helped improve our society and correct wrongs. Should people with criminal pasts be remembered on the same level of Martin, Abe or Harriet?

It is true that people change. Malcolm X comes to mind and the author of “Amazing Grace.” Their change was heroic. As are a host of others with criminal pasts that stepped up and rose to improve mankind and its condition. Then there were others that died early in their lives and we will never know, if in the future of their lives, they would become beacons of change. We will never know. Future history will question why are questional people being honored? Children in the future will also question why public officials being killed in the line of duty don’t count and their loved ones are to be dismissed.

Should we have a new holiday or day of rememberance in June? Yes! In the honor of change and togetherness and respect for each individual no matter of their religion, creed, color or places of birth. Remembering an immorl act, one color life mattering more than any other culture or color? Maybe we should question these holidays and change them to more positive understanding of oneness for all persons of the human race.

Please. Understand this “delicate misunderstanding” between us and move on. Let us not confuse future generations with spur of the moment hate that occured during a death of someone. Let us pray for the deceased, love our neighbors, forgive and move on. Then maybe we all can enjoy a holiday in June in the name of “Peace and Love.” This will therefore make the holiday less one sided and more all inclusive for all.

The time for moaning has just begun!

Welcome 2021. The first thing that happened was my car was totaled in a car accident. Of course I had to be in the car and all the air bags went off. I do not recommend one should be in a car when this happens. Everyone survived the crash. I learned that a getting a cracked or fractured sternum really sucks. Not that I am complaining.

I was on Facebook and the question of the day was: Do you know anyone who died from Covid-19? As of the time of the question I had not know anyone dying from Covid-19. The next day I got a call that my 79 year old sister had actually got the virus and died the next day. Not that I am complaining.

A week later. Facebook question: Do you know anyone who died from pancreatic cancer? Of course I did not. Until the next day when I got a call that my 82 year old sister just passed and had pancreatic cancer. She did not want anyone to know. Funny how death reveals’ one’s secrets. Not that I am complaining.

Scheduled my Covid-19 shot. Had to wait two weeks to get appointment for shot. The day before the shot I got a severe cough. No fever, no chills, but still had to cancel my Covid-19 shot. Not that I am complaining.

Decided to take my cat for a check up at the animal doctor place. Made appointment. That night cat got sick and got a “cat flue?” whatever that is. Have to isolate cat for a few days and I do not fit so good in that cat carrier. Very tight and uncomfortable. No room for pillow in the cat cage either. Not that I am complaining.

Watching news. Trump trial is over. Trump not guilty. Anyone who voted against him is sanctioned and in trouble for negative voting of Trump. Now one cannot vote anyway they want. If they vote the wrong way they will be punished. Not that I am complaining.

Renown Professor in renown university informs us: United States in same political situation as Germany in 1930’s. Professor warns that United States is open to Fascism and prone to more hate and violence. Not that I am complaining.

Most of the United States is buried under piles of snow or ice. This means isolation of individuals and families will increase in the future. All because that woodchuck or beaver or whatever that little rat looking beast is. All because this furry rodent predicts a longer winter because of its shadow. How do we know animals can even see their shadows? Not that I am complaining.

I have been sober since 1995. I have not had one drink since then. I also gave up taking drugs and have been clean of them since 1996. Not that I am complaining.

This is when I should write Hell yeah! No drugs or booze to escape from reality? I should be complaining. Not that I am complaining.

The Art of Surreal

Once upon a time in the land of Wealth and Money lived a very great man named Iyam Foir Mememe. This blusterous man had a lot of the Wealth and Money in this land of Wealth and Money. One day he decided he and his family would become the leaders of this plush green land. Of course he had a flock of followers. These followers were hoping that if he was elected he would shower some of the Wealth and Money on them. So these people that lived in the land of Wealth and Money voted for Iyam Foir Mememe. He was elected by a vote of 6 votes for him and 4 votes to Ida Bea Awlthat. Ida belonged to the Insignificant Party.

Every thing went well for 4 years. Iyam was named the Pretender Leader and did everything that the leader of the Land of Wealth and Money was suppose to do. Pretender Iyam Foir Mememe first took all the former paper work that was done, in the years before he became the Pretender Leader, and shredded them. This was done to make more room for all the paper work he would would write with his magical disappearing Pretender Leader Pen. Pretender Iyam then decided that he was also the leader of the Those People Kingdoms and snickered and smirked them with all the alternate fiction he could muster. Turmoil became reality and the people in the Land of Wealth and Money devoured this confusion and decided that this was a good deal.

Pretender Iyam became good friends with the Pretender Leader in the Land of Shusha. Pretender Chad Shootim, of Shusha, was the leader of the Bullshovics Party. Iyam Foir Mememe loved Shootim. When Iyam visited Shusha. Chad Shootim would never ever make fun of Iyam for wetting the beds Iyam slept in. For some odd reason Iyam actually thought that wetting the beds in the Land of Shusha was the politically correct thing to do. His reasoning was that because of the large Army and Police force in Shusha. The people being led there were like little children that needed Pretender Chad to watch over them. Well you know how children can be so it kind of made sense to Iyam.

After four years of making more Wealth and Money in the Land of Wealth and Money as the Pretender Leader. Iyam became real good at presenting alternate reality to his people. So he decided he would stay as the permanent Pretender Leader. There was an election that was held and Iyam got 4 votes and the Insignificant Party got 6 votes. Pretender Leader Iyam snorted and huffed and puffed and blew away all the election results. Pretender Iyam took all the pegs that were holding up the tent that the Insignificant Party held meeting in. Pretender Iyam then made a lot of the Insignificant Party members take a walk over a cliff , that was a short cut to the rocky beach on the shores of the Land of Wealth and Money. The leftover members of the Insignificant Party got a free trip to the Land of Shusha, It was so wonderful that they were given jobs to change the sheets in the homes of the people living in Shusha.

Everyone was so happy in the Land of Wealth and Money. Pretender Leader Iyam Foir Mememe saved the people in the Land of Wealth and Money. It seems people thought there was a great tidal wave that wiped out 1/4 of the land of Wealth and Money. Plus 1/2 of the population also went missing after this tidal wave. Pretender Iyam Foir Mememe just laughed and laughed. From now on anyone living in the Land of Wealth and Money will be named Dimm Citizens. This is because they believe in all this nonsense of tidal waves that are just hoaxes. Pretender Iyam then had his daughter named Deer Mememe, make uniforms and clothes that all the Dimm residents got to buy without discounts.

Pretender Iyam Foir Mememe then decided that the Land of Wealth and Money was an exclusive land. So he built a lot of Hugh Mounds of dirt that kept unwanted outsiders from coming into the Land of Wealth and Money. To be sure to keep them out he also set up towers with armed volunteer Dimm Citizens. It was amazing how good those distorted marksman shot so many foolish trespassers.

Finally Iyam Foir Mememe’s wife had a dandy suggestion. Anytime there was a large crowd of Dimm Citizens worshipping Iyam. It seemed that some people were not wearing proper attire that their daughter Deer Mememe sold. This made the color of the crowd off. Iyam then made sure all those off color clothed people, were to be rolled down the dirt mounds with the outsiders trying to come into the Land of Wealth and Money. There was also a rose garden and winter holiday that, First Lady Pretender Hohmm Mememe abolished and destroyed. Well! All us Dimm followers know how useless flowers and holidays are anyway. It is especially true that on Holidays the Dimm Citizens want the day off and that is just preposterous.

So it is so. Pretender Iyam Foir Mememe lived happily, with his family, in the Land of Mememe with all his Dimm Citizens. The Insignificant Party was no more; there were no more off colors in crowds. The dirt mounds got bigger and harder to climb because of all the outsiders plying up. Pretender Chad Shootim eventually got a home in a big white house near Iyam. The Land of Wealth and Money was eventually renamed the United Lands of Shusha. Pretender Chad also let Iyam retire and sent the Mememe family to the Lands of Inncoghneato. As for me. I just got picked up for a free cab ride to the beach in the United Lands of Shusha. Man just how lucky can a Dimm citizen like me can get.

Name Haters

I do not like my first name. It is Ed. This is also the name of an affliction that frustrates older men. When I think about this I also remember my first sexual experience. I vividly remember how angry she was when she spewed out, “I said a rubber not plastic wrap!” I also remember the cut I got when cutting the plastic wrap. Those things on the box are very sharp.

Remember your first experience with sex. Most people I talk to don’t. They are the ones that get those afflictions of frustration. Such is life. Laughable laughable living thru experiences. Experiences that embarrass the hell out of us. Yet. We have got to have them. Like the last experience I had when I prayed to God to get a truck. I bought a new car then kept complaining I should have gotten a truck instead. So ask and you shall receive. I asked and received a car accident that totaled my car. With the money I got from the accident I got my truck. Since I financed my destroyed new car. I did not get much back. So I got my truck that has over 200,000 miles on it. Why? Because my name is Ed. Who ever says God does not have a sense of humor, be careful. Just a quick note. A sternum that hits the steering wheel and the accident bag. Hurts for a very long time after it is fractured.

What is the worst that can happen?

Never ever say the title of this article. If you do. The worst will happen. I can attest to this by the following happenings. December 10, 2020. The year is almost over and Christmas is almost here, “What is the worst that can happen.” December 11, 2020. A pick up truck hit me solidly on the passenger side of my mid size car. Totaled car and sent me to the hospital. In the hospital I was feeling pain but was walking and still in a little bit of shock. I express to my daughter, she took me to the hospital because I thought I did not need an ambulance, I’m not too bad what is the worst that could happen when they check me out? The x-ray results. Fractured ribs and sternum. Multiple bruises and possible kidney damage. A concussion was also affirmed. Recovery time 3 to 4 months. No more driving until then and allergic to pain medication so good luck. My daughter then takes me home as I walk up the steps I again say, “Thank God that is over what is the worst that can happen now?” On taking the last of 4 steps leading to my home entrance I trip and fall. Add another month to recover. Since then I have not spoken a word to anyone. So please never ever say those worst that can happen words. Ever! One more thing. Happy New Year! What is the best that can happen?

Obvious Oblivious Oblivion

Birth, learning, Death. This is the E=mc2 for existence.

Everything that exists has had a beginning. Rocks, plants, trees, rivers, oceans, insects, life in water, animals, birds, and finally humans. Of course there is more that birth expanded as in the universe and endless stars.

After birth. Learning to breathe, eat, crawl, walk and survive. Questing mankind began looking for answers to everything. Imagining then creating, and inventing; which resulted from the curiosity of everything. Thinking man even thirsted for the knowledge of all the abstract things that emitted while formulating thoughts, ideas, emotions, and exploring the five or more senses of sensibility. Information collected is being passed on to the future generations of living things. Everything evolved with the accumulation of experience. Unfortunately after centuries upon centuries. The answer to everything questioned. Resulted in alluding all the searching of learning.

Death and time erased most discoveries. What seems important today usually is lost in tomorrows. Mans negative side thirsts more for destruction, greed, wars and frustration lacking answers. The tree of life grows the most wonderful fruit of fruits. Yet. Each time humanity tries to grasp these fruits. The branches pull away the delicious experience. Life ends up in oblivion devoured by death.

Through the experience of this year,
Be of Good Cheer!
Try not to think of the worse.
Keep love and goodness on your course.
Always finish with this rhyme,
Happy Christmas time!

A thousand years from now there may be a different poem.